Saturday, May 5, 2012

Hello

    So I have been procrastinating on "blogging". Mainly because the story that is running around in my head is certainly not my favorite one, but as you know, life is not always perfect & it never has been or will be. That being said, Josh & I have been concerned for some time now about little miss's eyes. I have talked to several people & have taken her to two eye doctor's. Last wednesday we went to Wichita to a Doc that specializes in pediatric opthamology (is that how you spell that?).
  He knew right away that something wasn't right, but he is not certain as to what is really going on. So after 2 agonizing hours of trying to entertain O with her dilated pupils, he finally told us that as far as her actual "eyes" he can't see anything wrong, & that we will have to go in and get an MRI. Whatever that all means. He didn't give out a whole lot of information because he feels he is not certain as to what it is. So we shall wait. Next thursday I'm taking her back to Wesley :(  As you know, my brain went into over-drive. I immediately started thinking the worst, I didn't know if I should punch the wall or storm out of there without a backward glance. ( I did neither)
  Then I started a pity-party, which avails nothing. I kept thinking that Olivia has went through more than enough in her little life, & that it wasn't fair, & on & on that went. Until Josh called me that is, & reminded me that it would all be ok, (what would we do without J.D.Allison?) & that God wouldn't give us more than we could handle. I guess I never realized how much emotion is involved with the words "mom" & "dad". You have millions of dreams and hopes for your child/children & you selfishly want it to go a certain way. . . . but, that is not life.
  Here I go sounding like there is something drastically wrong, when I haven't a clue, so I do apologize:) I realized on my way home that day, that I must step out of my "bubble" & look at the bigger picture. So that is my newest aspiration in life. Olivia is going to be fine, not just in this, but in whatever life brings to her. She is quite possibly the healthiest little rolly-polly "mite" I have ever laid eyes on. People have went from saying " she is so tiny" to "looks like she's well fed". If I had a quarter for every time we hear that I would have a nice little stash.
   . . . & on a brighter note. We have her. Every day & night we stare at her in aw. . . is there anything so perfect as a little child? If so I haven't found it. Her hair is really starting to grow. Straight as a board hair. I keep wondering how in the scare I will comb straight hair? I'm used to crying, & wailing & howling at the moon because my hair is so obstinate. So actually I'm looking forward to this newest "invention". Johnson & Johnson smelling baby hair. I would be perfectly fine if my nose were super-glued to a bottle of that stuff. Delish-ee-oso.
  Here is my song for the day. . .
                           The waves of devotion resound in my soul,
                           & sparkle so bright in the sun.
                           I drink from that fountain,
                           Oh glory, I'm whole,
                           My eden on earth has begun.
                   

1 comment:

  1. I am so sorry! I will pray for you guys and may God's Peace be with you.

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