Monday, January 18, 2016

A Thorn

I should be starting the dishwasher
Making cranberry & white chocolate scones for Mr. J.D.
Cleaning the toilets
Stitching little dolls

But first I'm going to tell you a story.

I have been having one of my times of struggling with Cerebral Palsy. They come out of nowhere and threaten to ruin me. 

last night Olivia Deane did not sleep well. She kept crying/moaning, so she came to sleep with us. Well, I freak out...she's just had a seizure .... she's on the verge of a crazy sickness ... her brain is wigging out. The list goes on. It is probably just a cold.

But I get so incredibly frustrated ... because it is a giant guessing game. I have absolutely no idea what is bothering her.

So here I am fighting with the devil ... while trying to be a good mom. Difficult.

We have to leave so I bundle them up ... get Bodie buckled in and then go to buckle her up. It is hard because she isn't as limber ... which reminds me all over of CP. So I took a deep breath...and prayed outloud that God would help us both thru this somehow.

I do the splits and clamber to the front ... land my hiny in the drivers seat ... and something tells me to listen to 94.3 .... ok fine... i turn it on.

A man is rambling about feeling insecure ... 
insecurities ??? 
ok. Typical problem ... right?

Then he proceeds to announce that he had asked readers to send in their favorite comfort verses. A man sends him 2 Corinthians 7-10.

Read it.

Paul has a thorn...but God says his grace is sufficient. 

The man explains that he has Cerebral Palsy. It is his thorn. Long story short...Religion had told him it was from demons...Doctors told him he wouldn't be able to do anything with his life ... but at 19 he met Jesus. God let him know he would do wonderful things with his ailment. Today he is a retired Youth Pastor,  Pastor, Father & Husband. 

I was sobbing...could barely see the road.

you see .... God's grace is sufficient. We may not be asked to build an ark. But rest assured, He will ask something of you. And then he'll offer grace. Beautiful wonderful unmeasured Grace.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

This Child

I have walked thru the valley with a shadow of death
Over the the mountains clothed in pines
Bathed in the golden rays of the sunshine
Tumbled about In the boisterous waves.

  I have been angry. ANGRY. At the unfairness of life. Multiple things I will not even drone on and on about. It was getting fairly serious, until I was sitting in the coffee shop and one of my friends called me. Thru the conversation somehow or other, a massive piece of cement landed on my soaring hot air balloon. Thunder .... lightning .... noise. I`m back down on my original planet. Olly may have a bad hip, I may carry her into school for a lot more years. But all in all we have it so incredibly good. She has the best Dad in the entire world. Just to mention one thing. So bask in the glory of the One Most High. While there is bad ... there is more good. Now i shall sign off like one of my favorite bloggers Monday Morning Mama .

Holding on to hope,