Back to the normal grind

. . . . not that I want to type out this update, but little miss Olly iss back in Intensive Care. She was doing marvelous and then yesterday she started squirming like crazy and next thing I knew she was crying to the point I couldn't get her calmed down. . . & she doesn't ever cry much. And then she was grunting every time she took a breath. So we hauled her to Newton Medical Urgent Care Clinic. . .  he said she was in respiratory distress so he tried intubating her. You as parents know how hard it is to stand by and watch your child go through something, but NEVER have I been so angry at life as I was last night. It did not go well at all & Josh & I really thought we were losing her. We were terrified. Angry. Confused. . . and then it hit me that maybe she wanted to see Lizzy. Which may sound weird, but when you have a little girl in heaven it only makes sense that with one being up there and one down here, they might miss each other.
  From there they took her by ambulance to Wesley. We didn't think we'd be coming to our old stomping grounds so soon. But here we are. The hallway on level one still smells like burnt enchiladas. The monitors are just as loud, in fact I think they are a smidge if not a lot, louder. The parking garage is still a giant maze. The only real difference is the Christmas tree in the entry-way and the wreaths that adorn the hall-way.
  After much testing and x-raying they have decided that she has a blood infection. He says preemies' immune systems are so fragile that when they get something in the upper respiratory it can turn into a blood infection. He also suspects pneumonia. So it is a waiting game now to see if it gets better or worse. They have started her on antibiotics, she's on a ventilator, back to a feeding tube, and about 73 other wires spread hither and yon all over her tiny perfect adorable body.
  I had lost all hope in life. I'm sad to say I was having a giant pity party. Nothing made sense, it didn't seem fair. You know how it goes. You look for the light at the end of the tunnel, and can't see a thing. This morning right after I woke up the little chime clock in sis's room started singing Jesus Loves Me. I never really thought about the sentence that says they are weak but He is strong. I was almost too angry to let it start breaking my wall I had so tightly built since last night. . . and once again I came to the same thing that Josh & I have come to with our little Lizzy. . . she is, after-all, God's little girl. We are only her caregivers for a very short time down here. Of course we want to watch her grow. . . comb her little fuzz on the top of her head. . . watch her little hands hold ours. . . change her outfits a dozen times in one day. . . kiss her little feet. . . convince ourselves she's smiling because she loves us. . . and tell her about the donkey clip-clopping into bethlehem on the night before christmas.
 So as of today she is doing ok. We will take it a day at a time if we can. And once again we are back to thanking each and every one of you for your support. We always used to think we wanted to live at the beach and watch the tide roll in. Sad thing is none of you are there to watch it with us. So we will stay here and watch the wind blow and the snow come down together. A lovely night to you all. . . .
    J & S & Olivia Deane

Finally Home. . .

This is me right now. . .  I love my
bouncy seat

So some nice people bought me this little
lamb. . . & I've slept on it quite a bit
already

This is what we came home to. Talk
about fun neighbors.
It was like an impromptu
little party. They even got yellow
balloons for Lizzy. . .  since she's
in our hearts, she's home now too.

Bath Time ! ! ! !

Water just seems soooo wet.

Me in my seat right after we left the hospital.
I can't believe I'm home:)

So. . . .we are finally home. It's been an interesting
3 months. I keep staring at Josh and then at
the little lady and then at the house
and I think it's strange to all be here.
But what a Thanksgiving it is
I will always remember the day we
got to bring little missy home.
 A little tiny house with a
little tiny baby inside of it.

"Home Sweet Lovely Wonderful Home"

Carseat Day. . .

Today was a HUGE day for little Sis. . . she had to prove that
she could sit in her car-seat for 3 hours without
having a spell. . . So she proved it while sleeping most of
the time.

Can you see me? I'm in there
under the pink hat:)

Then Daddy fed her and burped her & I am much
too lazy to switch the pictures
around so they are in order.

Then. . .  much to my dismay sis had to
have 4 immunization shots.
I couldn't stand it. She's so incredibly
tiny. She let out a squall with
each stick & promptly
quit crying. Nothing seems
to phase this child. I'm scared to
have another because she's so good
(as of yet) ! ! !

& here she is after her busy day. Isn't she just the
cutest thing you ever saw in your life?

The 6th of November

If all my days were sunny, could I say,

"In His fair land he wipes all tears away"?

If I were never weary, could I keep

Close to my heart, "He gives His loved ones sleep"?

Were no graves mine, might I not come to deem

The Life Eternal but a baseless dream?

My winter, and my tears, and weariness,

Even my graves, may be his way to bless.

I call them ills; yet that can surely be

Nothing but love that shows my Lord to me!

I couldn't resist. . . .

. . . . . taking these pictures. Sis had just fallen asleep
after taking her "bottle". . .

They have decided to start getting her to eat only by mouth and
no NG tube. Exciting but yet scary. It's so nerve-wracking to teach
a "preemie" to eat. She does fantastic for her size, you just have to
remind her that breathing is essential in ths thing we
call life:)
Wednesday the NICU charge nurse walked up & said
we were taking little missy to 3 Henson.
I was panicked.
I know it sounds silly to want to stay in NICU. . .
but that is the only place our girls have ever been, &
I couldn't imagine leaving.
Plus I think we were attached to that spot because of our dear
Lizzy.
But away we went.
Olly slept through the whole thing, she was clueless.
3 Henson is were kids go that are getting ready
to go home:) So that's the good news.
She's here now to grow & get the hang of having
to actually "eat" . . . wish I had
that problem. She weighs 5 pounds now.
I thought that day would never come, but it looks like
she's on the verge of being to long
for her preemie outfits.
Hospital noises & food & Florescent lights &
tiled  floors are driving Josh & me completely craZy.
If we ever have another little person,
the Docs are coming to 759 east Euclid
in their scrubs to do whatever it is that they
need to do. . . & IF THEY EVEN THINK of bringing
a monitor, I will throw that thing out if the window
so fast you won't even see it in the air. So that's
how I feel. Thanks for the ear. And now to you
all. . . .

. . . Sweet lovely dreams & Goodnyt.