Kirby

Who knew?

Did you know?

I didn't know that Kirby is the most amazing thing that has hit planet earth.
In fact, if you own one, you might should check your closet & see if it's still
there, it may have very well indeed sprouted wings, and left you high and dry.
They are MAG-I-CAL. No other words can define those particular inventions.
Turn that thing on, and you will not have one spec of dirt left in your house. You will
also have just protected your home equity, you see, 50 % of your equity is wrapped up
in your carpet. So by all means run your Kirby over your floors, because when you sell your
home, you don't want to think to yourself, "dude, if only I had Kirby-d my carpets, I could be
making such a bigger profit". Indeed, you wouldn't want your children to "get" a bacteria in
their system and wind up with pneumonia, now would you? Fatal. They are pretty economical,
the bag lasts a year. 365 whole days. What other bag do you know of that lasts that long?
See, you can't even think of one. One swipe with that machine and you get a white circular
pad full of sand. The very same sand in which is used in sand paper to sand down your furniture.
Definitely not something you want in your carpet. Neither do you want regular dirt in it, because
when it gets wet, you are basically bringing MUD, you heard me, mud, into your home. Now
don't we all take pride in not having mud in our house?

There is one particular blond headed salesperson, dripping sweat off his nose, living in Wichita that NEVER wants to see me again.

Some lady came to the door, ( I never am gullible, yet on this afternoon I was) told me she would quite literally FOAM my dirty steps (for FREE! ! ! ! !) and be gone in less than 30 minutes, and then when the store opened up here in town I would be standing in the line out the door wanting my carpets to be cleaned. What a deal, huh?

That is not what happened. I was attacked by a Kirby salesperson, and from here on out I am THE ONLY PERSON that will be vaccuming my carpeted steps. Period. End of the story. After a full 30 minutes of him "wow-ing" over his round dirt-filled pads, I firmly told him, while under my frizzy mop of hair, to pack his stuff up and be on with it. Well, he had 70 pads left to go. You have got to be kidding me. . . who vaccumes with 100 pads? I had dirt-filled sandy pads all over this house. Dirty Grimy Bacteria-y Me.

In the middle of this, Josh gets home, gets in on the calamity, and calmly tells him, "if she says leave, you should leave". ( he knows this from experience :) ) It's funny now but while he was bringing me pad after pad, I was not a happy camper.

I now know what KPI stands for.